We have a confession to make, which we think some of you may relate to?
Sometimes our children infuriate and exasperate us.
It could be the endless sibling squabbles, the baby biting the mastitis- infected breast AGAIN, or finding out that the cream sofa has pen drawings on it.
These are pretty normal things to get frustrated about, and you may even say that being infuriated is fair enough.
But do you ever go through periods when you and one of your children just aren’t getting on very well? You’re at loggerheads. The repeated conflict, the repeated disobedience, the repeated hurt feelings mean that you can feel a constant undercurrent of annoyance at that child? Perhaps you’ve never felt like that about your children – and in a way we hope not. It’s a grim way to feel.
But let’s say you do find yourself there. You can’t change their behaviour. And you can’t change your feelings of disappointment towards them.
What next?
Do we embrace the cliché “I love you, but I just don’t like you very much right now.”?
Or do we fight for their hearts and for our own? Do we fight to have a loving affection towards them despite, and in the midst of, their waywardness?
One of us was feeling this way about one of our children recently, and God gave that person a brainwave.
Pray.
Pray for the child. Pray for us as parents. Pray for the relationship.
Well, d’uh, you might say. So far, so obvious.
But.
But here is the GENIUS part. Pray for them while they’re sleeping!
Have you ever sat at the foot of the bed and prayed for your wayward child?
We dare you to. We dare you to pray for your sleeping child and not fall in love with them all over again. Sleeping children are so delicious! They look like beautiful cherubs.
And as you pray over them, fighting for their hearts, praying for protection for them in their own spiritual battle, imploring God to act on their behalf, you’ll feel God’s fatherly affection for them well up in your heart.
It’s not that their foibles and frustratingness has gone away – you still remember it all. But you’re able, somehow, to put it into perspective.
It’s a wonderful experience. In the quietness of night, in the stillness, and to the sound of their deep breathing – to pray for their precious little lives. It’s an honour. And it makes a difference.
But as special as this is. It also highlights a huge difference between our love for our children, and God’s love for us. It’s striking how much superior his is.
This is the extraordinary difference between us and God….
When Jesus intercedes for us before the Father, it’s not because we’re cute and angelic-looking. In fact it’s quite the opposite. Jesus knows more fully than we could know the horrendous, dark, all-encompassing extent of our sin.
Yet he loves us anyway.
He prays for our good despite the ugliness of our hearts. He spreads his protection over us, not because he had some obligation to do so (we rejected him, remember) but because he would rather take the hit; he would rather take the punishment and shame of our sin on himself rather than see us suffer the consequences of it.
God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.
2 Corinthians 5:21
He implores that the Father act on our behalf, not because we’re sweet and endearing, but because he is full of mercy and grace. Because he gave his life to rescue us, and he’s not going to give up on us now.
He intercedes for us because of his extraordinary, indelible, all-consuming, unconditional love for us.
So, as you pray for your difficult child (or children) as they sleep, remember the one who cares for, prays for and fights for your good. And be encouraged. Be overwhelmed. Be moved. Because the one who sees our waywardness also won our forgiveness, and now looks with stubborn and passionate loving affection towards us.
Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died–more than that, who was raised to life–is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us.
Romans 8:34