History does not repeat itself, but it does rhyme.”
We love this quote, which is often attributed to Mark Twain.
We think it’s a very helpful thing to remember when it comes to parenting.
No Two Children Are The Same
As parents, we often hear people talking about the fact that no two children are the same. We take reassurance from that – we can’t expect our child to behave in a certain way or do a certain thing, because history does not repeat itself. All children are different.
We see that really clearly with our two boys. They’re so different to each other!
One of our boys is full of energy, always wanting attention and very loud and extroverted. He loves being with people and is the first to make people welcome in our home as he grabs their hand and gets them involved in whatever he is doing.
Our other son is quite different. He’s much more shy. He’d happily sit quietly and watch what’s going on. He’s slow to open up to people, but very affectionate when his confidence is won.
History does not repeat itself when it comes to children, so comparison is often discouraging. Often when we expect a child to act a certain way because another child has acted that way, we’re disappointed.
Parenting Rhymes
History does not repeat itself when it comes to children… but it does rhyme.
The downside of this normally helpful wisdom of “no two children are the same” is that it can leave us feeling at a loss. My child is unique… yikes! Where do I start?
Well, while it’s true to say there are no out of the box solutions for the parenting of any one child, that’s not to say that help isn’t out there, because history rhymes. There are lots of things about parenting different children that are very similar. There are lessons to be learnt from history… or to put it another way, we can draw on the experience of others.
Others have been through similar things to you, whatever it is you’re facing. They might not be able to tell you exactly what to do in your situation, but there’ll certainly be depths of wisdom that can be plumbed in order to help you.
And this is certainly true when it comes to seeking to keep the gospel at the heart of your parenting. Part of God’s grace to us as parents is that he has put us in communities of other Christians (aka church) where we can speak to others who have been there before us (or are there right now), and learn from one another. If you do this, whilst at the same time remembering your child is unique, then you may well find this parenting thing feeling slightly easier.
History does not repeat itself, but it does rhyme. So make the most of that. Learn from others.
As well as church, there are a whole wealth of other resources that help you to lean on the wisdom and experience of others when it comes to Christian parenting. Here are a couple of things that might help you:
- We’ve recently started a gospel-centred parenting facebook group. We’re LOVING it. Already it’s proving to be a warm, grace-filled community filled with wisdom and support. Why not check it out?
- Our resource page will point you to a number of resources that will help you to learn from others. We don’t have to personally communicate with people to glean wisdom from there. Podcasts, books and other resources enable us to learn from the experience of a much more varied group of people, from across the world and even across time.
Your child is unique. One of a kind. History will not be repeated. That should be celebrated, but it shouldn’t exclude you. There’s still so much to learn from others. So listen to the rhyme of history too, and learn from others. God’s given us this privilege – make the most of it!