This blog post is part of a series whereby we get a glimpse into the life of different Christian families during the COVID-19 lockdown. This time we’re excited to introduce you to the Wright family.
The Wright Family
- Describe your family and what your average day looks like now under lockdown.
Ed and I (Heather) have been married 9 years. Bertie is 8 and Ernie is 4 I’ve always believed strongly in home-schooling, and this year B has been pretty miserable at school, which he previously loved, so I’ve been glad to have him home for some de-schooling. He’s finding it hard to adapt to an indeterminately long break from his friends, and E can’t compute not going to his lovely nursery for his normal 2 days. We’re thankful B has some proper walkie talkies – we dropped one off at his best friend’s house and now they can call each other up and talk nonsense at each other whenever they like (within reason).
Ed works in science/tech and is expected to do as many hours as normal – with some flexibility. In contrast I work nominally “11 hours a week” for our church as administrator, and doing what I do from home is fine – but of course with children home it doesn’t really work, so I have to steal an hour while Ed has lunch with them, then do little urgent bits as they crop up, fending off boys, and catch up in the evenings. And juggle that without squeezing out stuff I need for me like Bible time. (I will freely confess that “quiet time” was never a thing I did before, but has become a firm habit since giving in to my friend’s suggestion of getting the YouVersion app and starting Bible In One Year – a genuine technological blessing that is changing my life!) My work on the church website and comms is particularly key right now, and I’m definitely doing extra hours, and getting too little sleep!
I’m glad I didn’t commit to the “screen-free Lent” I fantasised about – we’re now relying heavily on the internet, even if no more TV than usual! We are not really keeping any daily structure – it’s far too manic in this house! We’ve had some really nice and not onerous tasks set by school (including bird watching – which is a family passion anyway), but I’m very much of the view that it’s all optional and our focus should be on the mental health of everyone concerned. We live in an amazing village with wonderful woodland walks and we have an allotment as well as our tiny garden, so are spending a lot of time outdoors.
I’m excited to have the opportunity to get more Bible into the boys while they’re home, so I’m trying to highlight a letter of the alphabet a day for E to learn, and choose a Bible word and memory verse for each one, plus a song that fits (we love to learn through music). It’s giving me a focus even if we don’t always actually learn the verse so it can be recited. But they’re sponges and seem to find it easy. They’re also keen to learn the New City Catechism – our pastor recommended getting the app and doing it with our kids during Lent. I wish someone had got me to memorise this stuff as a kid!
2. What challenges have you encountered?
The kids have been “emotional” to put it mildly (oh the tantrums!) – this is so unsettling for them. They need tons of extra reassurance and unconditional love, which is sometimes easy to give, but sometimes really challenging – we’re tired and unsettled too. Thank God there’s grace for imperfect parents too!
Facebook wants to show me that half my friends are incredible parents with squeaky clean houses and home-schooling routines, while the other half are being negative about their kids and spouses. Neither is edifying! I’ve found myself wanting to post on Facebook the Bible stuff I’m trying to do with the boys, but have been struggling to decide whether it’s going to do more good in encouraging people and putting scripture out there, or do harm by adding to inferiority complexes already being built by all these “super-mums”. To be honest, I’m not sure I have time anyway!
And it’s not easy being the other side of the country from my Dad, knowing that all his normal activities, which have been a lifeline since Mum died 5 years ago, are cancelled. Thankfully he’s part of a home group that WhatsApps, a really solid church which is producing daily teaching online, and he has good neighbours. We talk on the phone or videocall, but it’s not the same.
3. What encouragements have you seen?
Our pastors are live-streaming on Facebook and using Zoom for those within the church family – Sunday mornings and meeting to pray at noon each weekday, which is lovely and is actually building recognition between my kids and some church faces they’ve probably paid no attention to before. It’s great to see all ages at church learning to use Zoom and connecting with each other. It’s also meant that people who can’t normally get to church are suddenly as connected as the rest of us, and small groups can include people who would normally miss out, e.g. both parents can now attend because they’re still in the house with their children. I think there’s a good argument for continued use of Zoom when life returns to normal!
The crisis has also forced me to step out and be filmed myself – first in order to continue to teach a dance routine to girls from B’s school, then to lead worship on piano at a live-streamed prayer event, then recording virtual story and singing slots for Tuesday mornings on our Toddlers Facebook group! I’ve been surprised to find I haven’t felt embarrassment, just a passion to encourage others and glorify God. This is definitely a case of God equipping for a particular time/need, as I would not have believed you if you’d told me a month ago!
4. Why is the gospel good news for your family at this time?
Because it’s good news for everyone, all of the time!
But more specifically, if I didn’t have the gospel I would be drowning right now. I struggle with anxiety and depression, and last year it was really severe. I was having awful panic attacks with increasing regularity and felt darkness swamping me every night before bed and at random times during the day. I knew it to be both a spiritual battle (having a friend pray Jesus’ name powerfully with me over my bedroom made a massive difference) and a physical illness – though it’s always hard to admit the latter, instead feeling I should be able to snap out of it if I’m a Christian! I finally went onto antidepressants in October, which is something I’d been desperate to avoid this time, but they’ve made me functional again – my family really needed this! Through the dark time I was holding fast to the promises of God but the chemicals in my brain were having none of it. My pastor reminded me that if I had e.g. diabetes I wouldn’t have been wrestling with whether I should take insulin or not! Now that I am medicated I have my joy and hope back in a much more real way.
As a result, while many people who thought their lives were sorted are currently being swamped by anxiety about what Coronavirus means for their health, livelihood, social life, etc., I find myself genuinely calm and confident in the Lord. It is so true that he uses trials to train us and refine our faith, and works all things for our good! It is helpful to reflect that the Bible is packed full of people suffering, facing massive upheavals, surrounded by enemies, struggling to trust God, crying out “where are you?” and not always getting the response they’re looking for. And God being faithful. In some ways being in a crisis like this helps us to better understand some of the OT stories where people were living a much more powerless, hand to mouth existence, and had to rely on God’s providence. The Bible is also packed full of exhortations not to worry or fear. I know these so well as I’ve been clinging to them for years. So I find myself equipped to share my hope, and demonstrate that in knowing my own weakness and helplessness I can confidently lean on Jesus, my rock, my fortress, my saviour. In his faithfulness he will not let my foot slip. So few of my friends have the hope of eternity, and in times like these we who do will shine more brightly.
It is great to be able to comfort my children with my sure and certain hope, to remind them that Jesus can calm the storm, heal the sick, raise the dead and do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine. To teach them that he’s the one that won’t let them down and can’t be taken away from them.
A huge thank you to the Wright family for taking part in this series!
Why don’t you take a few moments now to pray for the Wright family? Pray for Ed as he works from home and for Heather as she tries to juggle working remotely for church and homeschooling her children. Pray that God would continue to use her to build up their church family and reach out into the community with the good news of the Gospel.