Blog | Gospel-Centred Parenting

A Package Holiday, Chicken Pox and the Gospel

Scott and Cathy Uncategorized February 8, 2017August 17, 2018 3 Comments

One of the benefits of having tiny children is being able to holiday in term time. We were delighted to find a cheap deal and were excited about escaping the winter chills for sunnier climes.

Our two year old was excited about going on the aeroplane to “Rote” (Lanzarote). In his mind (and according to the YouTube video we showed him) holiday equals beaches, swimming pools, ice creams and aeroplanes. He couldn’t wait to get going!

So we packed our bags and jetted off. We are so thankful to God for a really refreshing and fun time as a family.

But here’s the thing…

The holiday didn’t quite go as planned.

Towards the end of the holiday (and Scott’s birthday no less) little red spots started to appear on the baby’s body. We were in disbelief!

Now it shouldn’t have surprised us that much – our toddler had just recovered from chicken pox a fortnight prior to our trip (so we were lucky to get away at all). But we had assumed that the baby was immune from chicken pox. Clearly not! It turns out that our Sherlock skills weren’t quite up to standard, and our calculations of his exposure to CP and our belief that my breast milk had made him immune were incorrect!

So there we were, with a spotty baby who needed to see a doctor and NO DOCUMENTATION! We kid you not! We forgot to pack everything! We didn’t have our boarding passes, our hotel or transfer tickets (although a good thing about a package holiday is that the company reps know how to look after goons like us, so it was fine, praise the Lord!) and we hadn’t even packed our European health insurance cards or our travel insurance details. Hmmm… perhaps we need to brush up on our organisational skills.

Despite all of this, we saw God’s grace and provision for us in so many ways.

Initially we panicked. What do you do in this situation?

But then we saw God answer so many prayers and provide for our needs abundantly.

The hotel staff were amazing. They were sympathetic, well-informed, excellent multi-linguists and they navigated us through the process. A doctor came to our hotel room within an hour and confirmed what we thought – pox had struck and the baby would not be fit to fly on the date we originally intended.

Scott sprung into action and got it all organised with the insurance company, doctor, airline and hotel. Within 24 hours all the plans were in place for Cathy and the baby to stay until he recovered from his illness.

Phew, all was sorted, and only a small excess to pay.

(It’s worth just pausing here to let you know that the baby had a very mild dose of chicken pox, he didn’t seem to suffer much discomfort and was in good spirits – a huge blessing!)

We were grateful, we were relieved, Cathy was even a little bit excited (4 whole days of Mummy and baby in the sun – a REAL holiday with someone else footing the bill!)

But then something happened. There was a change in the atmosphere. The happy, relaxed, enjoyable holiday experience began to morph into a more subdued and sombre affair. Scott’s departure date loomed large before us as we contacted friends and family at home to arrange childcare for the toddler, so Scott could return to work. We rearranged church meetings, work rotas and discussed meal plans. We were thinking about life back at home sooner than we had hoped for, and we were feeling sad about being apart for the longest time since our first year of marriage.

But there were many evidences of God’s grace and of his Spirit working within us to remind us of gospel-truths. Here are some that Cathy’s reflections, written during her time away:

God’s grace

Let’s be clear. I am not deserving of a sun-soaked, all expenses paid, quiet – (you’ll know what I mean if you’ve ever spent any length of time with a toddler!) mummy-son date with our baby. And yet, that’s what God has given me. I’m tempted to feel guilty. I’ve definitely got the sweeter deal while poor Scott is juggling childcare, work and is back in the chilly UK. But what does this reveal about my heart? Well, that I still function as a legalist. I functionally believe that I get what I deserve. I get according to my performance. But this anti-gospel!

We all deserve God’s just anger at our rebellion against him, and yet we get grace, grace, grace. We get past grace – forgiveness of our sins, Christ’s righteousness given to us and adoption into God’s family, we get future grace – eternal life, the resurrection of our bodies, forever in the new creation – and we get present grace – God’s holy presence dwelling in us, working in and through our situations to make us more like Christ. God is gracious even though we’re undeserving. So in light of this truth I should enjoy the gift of this mini-break with my baby with gratitude and joy. It’s evidence of his grace to me and I want to treasure every moment of this unique time with my little boy. I’m not in this situation because I deserve it, but because he’s gracious. What a God!

God’s sufficiency

A few weeks ago we wrote a post about discontentment as a parent. And about how the gospel is the antidote to the “grass is always greener” syndrome. Well this is the perfect scenario to practice what I preach. In many ways I’m living in the scenario of what I often feel envious about when I look at my Facebook feed. Sun, freedom, comfort, and yet now I have these things I could easily be envious for life at home! Familiarity, structure, family. But God is sufficient. He is what I truly need to feel contented. My circumstances will change, but God does not.

I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.”

Philippians 4:12

God’s design for Christian community

As wonderful as it is to wake up and wonder what I’m going to do with the day, to have no responsibilities like laundry and cooking, and to enjoy the sun, sea and sand, the truth is we’re not designed to to live in a perpetual holiday seeking our own individualistic comfort. I think I would be very lonely indeed if I didn’t have the baby with me. He’s only 6 months old but his smiles, snores and snuggles make my day. Today I strapped him on and we went for a 4 km walk over rugged paths to see 4 beautiful golden beaches along the stunning Papagayo coastline. It was absolutely wonderful!

But this desire for community and for shared experiences, and yes, for sacrificial service to others rather than simply living for our own comfort, points to gospel truth. We desire community because we’re relational beings made in the image of a triune God. Within the very godhead is a loving family of Father, Son and Spirit. So of course I miss my family – I’m wired that way. And I miss my church family too – because followers of Jesus Christ are given a new family, the church. But as I feel this ache to be reunited with those I love, it should cause me to crave that day when I’m reunited to firstly, my saviour God and also to all his people in the New Creation. Wow! What a staggering thought.

Now we get to the end (well done if you’ve made it this far through my meandering thoughts!) and you’re probably thinking. “Yikes Cathy, you’ve overthought it there! Just enjoy it.” And you’re probably right, but then again, I’ve had WAY more time to think than usual.

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Guest Post | Talking To Your Kids About Sex

Scott and Cathy Guest Posts January 23, 2017August 17, 2018 2 Comments

We couldn’t be more excited to have a guest post written by Joanne Parks, the mum of one of Cathy’s high school friends. I (Cathy) was astounded at the ease and joy with which my friend Hannah would talk about sex with her parents! How is this even possible? I observed that Hannah and her sisters had a really high, healthy and Biblical view of sex and were unashamed to talk about it in appropriate ways.

This is a topic that most parents dread talking to their children about, and yet most parents are convinced of the importance of it. So we asked Joanne if she would be willing to contribute some thoughts to our blog, and she was! So here’s her wisdom…

“But Mommy, WHY would Joseph want to divorce Mary when she was pregnant with baby Jesus?”

This was the question that forced us to (very) quickly figure out what we were going to do as parents to explain God’s good gift of sexual intimacy to our children. Our oldest daughter, Hannah, was 4 at the time and was as curious as curious can be. Her question stemmed from reading the Christmas story before bed that night. (Be warned, friends… family Bible readings can bring up quite the variety of topics to discuss!)

As young parents we were caught off guard and frankly a bit nervous. We had not expected to have “the talk” with our firstborn during her preschool years. We had neither thought this through nor had time to carefully plan out our words. But here we were. And we needed to respond.

We stumbled through a simple description of conception that may have sounded something like “when two people love each other and then get married, sometimes a little part of mommy and a little part of daddy come together to make a baby” (don’t judge us). So many parts of that could lead to huge misunderstandings, but that’s what we said.

Because of her big personality we knew Hannah’s tendency would be to share this new information indiscriminately with her peers so we concluded that conversation with strict instructions that she not talk to her friends about these things, adding that “their parents would like to be the ones to get to talk to them”. But we also knew that we wanted to leave the door open for future conversations and questions, so we included the reminder that “you can ask Daddy or Mommy anything about this anytime. Any question is fine to ask, just don’t talk to your friends about this”. We kissed her goodnight and told her we loved her and left the room to go debrief what had just happened. She shared a room with her younger sister who was 2 years old. As we passed by their doorway 20 minutes later we overheard Hannah telling her sister “Now Sarah, you can ask me or Mom or Dad anything about this, ok?”. Ah well… that didn’t last long.

Well, two and a half decades and two additional daughters later we have learned a few things about talking to your children about sex. We’ve not done this perfectly by any means, but at least we’ve learned to not be so nervous. And we’ve learned to be thankful for this great privilege and responsibility that has been a part of parenting our children.

As you consider what this might look like in your parenting let me encourage you to think of this as one more piece of discipling your children. Try to remove the dreaded stigma that is so often attached to this subject. It may not be how your parents handled it with you, or how your culture typically thinks about these things. But it is important as you consider how to raise children with a healthy Biblical understanding of sexuality.

Here are some things to keep in mind as parents:

1. Tell them what God says in the Scriptures:

As Christian parents our teaching should be rooted in the truth of God’s Word.

In Genesis 1 and 2 God declared his creation of man and woman very good. It was his idea in creation that man should not be alone, so he made woman for him. He blessed their physical union. He told them to be fruitful and multiply. They were naked and not ashamed. God says physical intimacy in marriage is good!

In the Bible we see that sexual intimacy is intended to be experienced within the safety of the covenant promise of marriage. Sexual intimacy is wonderful and it is also very vulnerable. And God’s good design is for it to be known with one spouse in the security of a lifelong marriage commitment of love and trust.

God sets boundaries of protection for us with regards to sexual sin. As your kids get older include reminders that God warns us to guard our hearts from lust and to beware of the snare of sexual sin (Proverbs). But in teaching the warnings and the boundaries don’t neglect to continue to teach that it is good and is from God. It can be easy to forget to speak of it in a positive light as we help our older children guard their hearts.

You will eventually want to be sure to include that God also shows grace to those who sin. And we are all sinners. Inevitably you will have the opportunity to explain that as sinners mankind has rebelled against God’s good plan and rejected his leadership in all areas of our lives. This means that sexual relationships are frequently not handled in the way that God intended. These decisions assuredly come with earthly consequences, but this is also a great opportunity to talk about forgiveness for anyone who repents of their sins and turns to Christ. This is a Gospel opportunity in your parenting. Teach your children about the grace of God for sinners. Because really, when it comes down to it, we are all sexual sinners in need of forgiveness.

2. Look to be the primary source of information.

You might be surprised at what it takes to stay ahead of the curve and be the first one to talk to your children about sexuality. Like in our story with Hannah these topics can come up during elementary years or even earlier. Though we aim to protect our children from unwanted outside sources like the internet, other more innocent settings might prompt questions related to sexuality. These can come up while playing with friends at the park, visiting a pregnant or postpartum neighbor, going to elementary school or co-op groups, visiting a farm or even while reading Bible stories.

But instead of waiting on your kids to bring up questions related to sexuality (the extroverted ones will likely do this), you should consider taking the initiative with them and begin conversations with them at an age appropriate level (the introverted ones will need this!). As parents you know your own children the best. You know what they are able to take in and understand. Try to answer their questions simply and honestly, with a certain degree of comfort and ease. You may have to fake that last part, but your attitude will certainly set the tone for the conversation. And for the very curious ones who keep pressing you for more information it’s also ok to say “we’ll save that question for next time”.

We were so glad to come across a helpful book series by Stan and Brenna Jones entitled God’s Design For Sex (click here for the first book in the series)*. These were read-along books that guided us through several conversations with our daughters. One of our girls still teases me about the time when I wouldn’t let us break for lunch until we finished one of the later books in the series. It seems that I may have lost sight of what was most important that day. I’m thankful that she can laugh about it now.

3. Aim to be the trusted source of accurate answers.

Build a foundation of trust that paves the way for them to know that they can come to you with any question. You will tell them the truth. They don’t have to look elsewhere for answers. They can come to you with anything and know that you won’t be upset with them.

Use proper vocabulary. This was my husband’s conviction from the beginning, and slowly I came to agree that this pattern helps to keep God’s good design held up in honor. You will have many chances to explain and define slang words that they hear over the years and those will stand in clear contrast to the good plan that God has made.

Be open to lots of questions. Your kids may come home from school and ask what a particular word or gesture means that they heard from a classmate. They will trust that no matter what they hear from others they know that you will tell them the truth.

Be prepared for some forgetfulness on their part. The following Christmas Hannah asked nearly the exact same question! All that stressing turned out to be for naught. She had already forgotten our most excellent explanation!

4. Keep talking.

Speak about these things often. Despite all the references to “THE talk”, it’s far more accurate to think of this as a lifetime of talks. Deuteronomy 6 reminds us of how parents are to be continually telling their children about the character of God and his commands for his people. As we raise our children in the ways of the Lord we talk to them about all sorts of things related to following God. We talk about these things as we go about the ordinary routines of life.

Your children may or may not welcome these conversations depending on their differing personalities but you must have them anyway. We laugh with one of our daughters as we recall together how she would sweetly but faithfully protest by saying “Do we have to talk about this again?”.

By the way, it’s always a bit awkward when they connect the dots and realize that their parents have actually done this act that is being described. Occasionally this leads to giggles (preschoolers), but more typically it shows up in facial expressions of shock, horror and disgust (school aged kids). Older siblings are often quick to become the experts and explain to their younger siblings that, duh… there are four of us so clearly Mom and Dad have done this four times.

Over time your conversations will include increasing detail about more delicate topics of desire and pleasure, sexual temptation and sin, fidelity and forgiveness. Don’t shy away from these conversations. These will all point to God and his good design. And they can turn into great opportunities to speak about the good news of the Bible, that a loving and holy God has made a way for a stubborn and rebellious people to be forgiven for their sin and be reconciled to him through Jesus’ undeserved death on the cross, where he took the punishment that we deserve and gave us his righteousness in exchange. He is good indeed.

Joanne has been married to Brian for 28 years and they have four daughters and two sons in law. She has lived on the Arabian Penninsula for the last 14 years and is excited to see what God will do as they plant Covenant Hope Church in the spring of 2017.

We hoped you enjoyed this post – we thought it was really helpful.

Our children are still slightly young for these conversations to start, but we want to be ready when they come along.

There are a number of resources that come highly recommended to help us chat to our children about issues surrounding sex. We’ve not read or used any of them ourselves yet, so can’t personally recommend them. But why not check out Joanne’s recommendation above, or the books below, which we’ve heard are really helpful:

Good Pictures Bad Pictures: Porn-Proofing Today’s Young Kids *: this book is recommended by many people to help parents talk to children about pornography. Have you used it? Why not leave a comment to share your experience of it?

God Made All of Me * comes recommended to help you chat to your children about their body – particularly private parts of their body and how they should be treated by others. Again, we’ve not used it so let us know in the comments if you think it’s good.

We’re so grateful for this fantastic post – if you’ve found it helpful then please do share it so others can enjoy it too.

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5 Parenting Mistakes to Avoid | #4 Discontentment

Scott and Cathy 5 Parenting Mistakes To Avoid January 16, 2017January 16, 2017 10 Comments

It only takes a brief look at my Facebook newsfeed to feel fairly discontented. Everyone’s having such a great time. Travelling the world, climbing the career ladder, buying big houses, setting up businesses, running marathons for charity (I know, right – crazy people!). Our lives look fairly insignificant and un-glamourous in comparison.

Scott spends his time testing the eyes of elderly people, because that’s a great thing to do – but also to pay the bills and look after our family. I do lots of wiping bodily fluids, feeding tiny people, attending playgroups and being a general children’s entertainer/dogsbody.

We love our lives, we’ve chosen to have children young, to live in the UK, to put my career second to other priorities in our lives. Nobody forced us into these things. We decided that this is what we wanted from life and we’ve gone for it. And by and large we feel very satisfied and contented with our lot.

But then, I scroll through Facebook and my friends are doing really significant things, really impressive things, things that display their worth, power and status. I have one friend who works in parliament, several are doctors, another is a TV presenter, several are successful entrepreneurs, and then there are the ones who are in full time Christian ministry.

Cue the green-eyed monster making her appearance. Envy starts to grip my heart and I start to believe that I want what they’ve got. I want to be free. Free from responsibilities and obligations. Free to travel, to progress professionally, to sleep-in! And then I start to think the inevitable… it’s those children who are the problem. They are the ones who are limiting my freedom.

Dare I say it (on a parenting blog no less!)? I start to imagine what life would be like without the little ones.

What if we had waited a few more years first? What if we were still child-less now? Where would we live? What jobs would we be doing? What once-in-a-lifetime experiences would we be gaining?

But can you see how futile and joy-sapping this is? It’s a one-way track to discouragement and resentment.

So what’s the parenting mistake here? Well it’s this –

Discontentment with your lot.

To think the grass is always greener. To be discontented with your phase of life or position in it and wish you were in another.

You don’t just have to be a stay-at-home mum to experience this. It might be that you work part time, and as you say goodbye to your children at nursery you have a pang of jealousy at those mums who get to stay at home. Or you think about how you’ve had children later in life, and wish you had the energy of the younger parents you see. Or you may look at your home and wish you had a bigger home, a warmer home, a more beautiful home. Or you look at your spouse and you wish they were just a bit more godly, attractive, or considerate.

It’s so easy to look at aspects of our lives and wish they were different – wish our lives looked more like our neighbours’, our friends’ in church, our teenage fantasy of what life would be like. We think if we had this, that, or the other thing, then we’d be sorted and content. Whatever it is we’re looking for – worth, joy, significance, pleasure – we are discontent with what we have and think we’ll find a better version of it elsewhere.

But there is another way – it’s to realise that the gospel is the only true source of our significance, value and worth.

Just this past week I read this and it really encouraged my heart:

First and foremost, your identity is hidden in Christ. And because of that you didn’t need one more thing to validate those decades of motherhood. You invested your whole self in raising the souls God entrusted to your care. There isn’t another career that requires more sacrifice, more round-the-clock need-meeting than motherhood. The results of such work stretch into eternity, so don’t you dare look down on your years like they were something small and now you’re smaller for not having done more. You did the most and it mattered.”

Kate Skero, Nourishing Little Souls

She addresses two things there: let’s deal with the first one first. Our identity is in Christ.

What does that even mean?

Well it means that we have absolute value and worth. Jesus thought that we were so precious that he spilled his royal blood to provide our forgiveness, freedom from sin, adoption into God’s family and eternal life. And not just that, he united himself to us in an indelible bond – our old lives are gone and we have a new identity – the very righteousness of our perfect saviour. When God the Father looks at us he sees perfection. He sees me, he sees you, he sees us – with our unique personalities and personhood and he sees the righteousness of Jesus. So think about the very best version of you – the version who never hurts other people, never thinks dark, bitter thoughts, the version who has no regrets and no secrets. The version who loves fiercely, freely, sacrificially. Well that’s who God sees, because he sees Jesus. That is what it means for your identity to be in Christ.

Therefore we don’t need one more thing to validate our life choices. Our worth is not found in our vocation, our maritial status, our giftedness, our bank balance – there is literally nothing that gives us significance but the righteousness of Christ. And in him we are perfect and God is for us. We can be perfectly content, whatever our lot.

Wow that puts things into perspective doesn’t it!

Secondly, while we shouldn’t put our sense of worth in our life choices, they are significant to God. God cares deeply about how we spend our days and what we do with the time and resources he’s given us. He doesn’t love us any more or less depending on our performance – but he does see it and he cares about the details of our lives. And those who are in Christ are able to do real good in this life.

While the world might look at me and pity me for the decision to be a stay-at-home mum, while people may be saddened by how someone with “so much potential” could spend her best years attending to the needs of tiny children and while I even feel this myself some days (believe me, being a parent is hard work and you don’t get much credit for it). Raising children, leaving a legacy, discipling the next generation of Godly men and women who will go out into the world to herald good news – that has eternal significance. Why would we wish we were in a different phase of life, when that’s what we’re doing?

And the same can apply in your situation. Just take a moment now to consider how you’re tempted to be discontented. Apply the gospel to your situation – remember the value that you have in Jesus, and remind yourself afresh of how the thing you long for (even if it’s a good thing) isn’t the answer to your joy/worth etc. That’s found in Jesus. Remember that he sees your life choices and cares about the decisions you make, and that he is able to use you for good in the situations you’re in.

If you’ve enjoyed this post, why not check out other posts in the series, by clicking the links below.

Finding Joy in Unlikely Places

Scott and Cathy Guest Posts January 10, 2017January 10, 2017 0 Comment

What do you believe will bring you joy?

A hot coffee? A spa trip? Well behaved kids, a tidy house and an early night?!

There are lots of things that I (Cathy) think will bring me joy on a daily basis. Usually they are dependent on my (and my children’s) performance and comfort. There’s good news however, joy can be found somewhere else…

I’ve written a blog post on the topic of “Finding Joy in Unlikely Places” for Worshipful Living. Click here to read my post.

Global Insights: Parenting in Different Cultures

Scott and Cathy Global Insights January 2, 2017January 1, 2017 4 Comments

It’s time for a new series!

We’ve been hugely encouraged by how the Gospel-Centered Parenting community has grown in 2016. We’ve loved connecting with friends old and new and we’ve enjoyed hearing about other people’s parenting experiences as we’ve shared ours. It’s encouraging realising that we’re not the only ones wrestling with this stuff – we’re not the only ones trying to share Jesus with our kids, and we’re not the only ones who are loving it, exhausted and learning-on-the go!

So we’ve had an idea…

Why don’t we share our experiences of gospel-centred parenting in our different contexts?

We’ve been really excited to see that we have readers from all over the world (bar South America – we’re still to break into that continent!) We would love to hear other voices and glean wisdom from others about what it looks like for you to parent your children in the context God’s placed you in.

We’re interested in finding out the following things:

Where do you live and what’s it like?
What are some of the challenges and opportunities that you face in Christian parenting because of your context? (This could be secularism, over-familiarity with Christianity, living in a country where Christianity is a minority faith or suppressed… anything really.)
What do you do to encourage your children to love Jesus?

For each of these questions there are all sorts of different avenues you could go down – feel free to pick one that’s on your heart and let us know your answer.

In an early post of ours, “What is Christian Parenting?” we discussed how Christian parenting can be expressed in very different ways in different contexts, but ultimately is all about pointing our children to Jesus in word and deed.

It will be really interesting to read about how people in other cultures teach their kids about God in everyday life.

We’d love to hear from you!

If you’d like to take part in this series then please just fill in the form below. You can participate even if you live in a country where it’s not possible to speak openly about your faith – you can just tell us which region of the world you live in, (e.g. “Middle East” or “Southeast Asia”), rather than your country or city.

Here’s the form:

Guest Post: How to do a Family Devotion

Scott and Cathy Free Printables, Guest Posts December 27, 2016August 6, 2020 2 Comments

Here’s a guest post written by close friends and fellow church planters, Michael and Lisa Hall. We’ve asked them to tell us a bit about how they structure their family devotions, and we think you’ll find it both inspiring and achievable. Here’s what they had to say…

Our greatest desire for our three boys is that they would grow up to love Jesus. To help that process we wanted to think through a family devotional plan. Don’t let that sentence put you off! It doesn’t have to be complicated. It doesn’t have to look like something suitable for pinterest or instagram. Our aim is simple: We want to read the Bible with our children and talk about it.

Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.”

– Deuteronomy 6:4-8

This section from Deuteronomy reminds us that learning about God and growing in faith is not restricted to the hour that they spend in the kids’ club at church. It needs to be a regular part of family life, which is what these verses describe – talking about God’s words when you’re at home, when you’re out and about, at night-time and in the morning.

Introducing children to Jesus isn’t done in the one off big events, it’s done in the countless everyday moments. We’ve tried to do this in structured and unstructured ways. From before they were able to understand it, we have read the Bible with the boys every night before bedtime (going through the Jesus Storybook Bible *, The Beginner’s Bible * and The Big Picture Story Bible * multiple times). They love routines and would not let us forget to do this! It’s a small but incredibly important investment. It takes 5-10 minutes and our 5 year old twins have heard God’s word for most of the 1825 days they’ve been here.

In a more unstructured way we have loved learning the bible through singing. We always have a Colin Buchanan CD on the go in the car and, due to the fact that the songs are incredibly catchy, we’ve found the boys and ourselves memorising parts of the Bible without trying!

As well as the everyday bible reading and singing in the car, we have recently started to try a more planned time to help the boys engage with what they are hearing and learning. So, once a week after we finish eating, we have the catchily-titled Hall family bible time. We choose some verses from Colin Buchanan’s Baa Baa Doo Baa Baa * album (which is just Bible verses as songs) to learn and talk about. We choose verses to help us think about the big sweep of the gospel story from creation, through the fall, redemption and then looking forward to new creation.

We sing the bible verse through a couple of times and ask the boys a few simple questions (see examples below). It doesn’t matter when they get it wrong, it’s an opportunity to talk about what the words mean and help them think through what the verse says. We often give sweets out to encourage participation with these questions and sometimes we include a small craft activity. We spent a couple of weeks in each verse which helped them to learn and remember the questions we had been asking.

Here are the first 4 verses we used with examples of the sort of questions we asked.

John 1:1

In the beginning was the word and the word was with God and the word was God (He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him, and without him nothing was made that was made.)

We spent some time looking at pictures and youtube videos of the universe
What does beginning mean?
Who is the word?
Who made x/y/z?
Who made you?
Why did God make you?

Isaiah 53:6

We all like sheep have gone astray, each of us has gone his own way, but the Lord has laid on him, the iniquity of us all

We made some sheep by sticking cotton wool on paper plates
What does it mean if a sheep goes astray?
What does it mean for us to go astray/our own way?
What does iniquity mean?
Who has it been laid on?

Titus 3:5

He saved us, not because of the righteous things we’ve done, by his mercy, through Jesus Christ his son

Who saved us?
What does righteous mean?
What does mercy mean?
Why has he saved us?

John 14:1-4

Do not let your hearts be troubled, trust in God trust also in me, in my Father’s house there are many rooms, if it were not so I would have told you. I’m going to prepare a place for you, and if I go to prepare a place for you I will come back to take you to be with me, so you may also be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.

What does it mean if your heart is troubled?
What does Jesus say you should do if your heart is troubled?
Where is Jesus going and what is he doing?
What is the way to the place he is going?

Don’t picture in your mind that this is a perfectly executed miniature church service. Sometimes they engage with the questions, sometimes they don’t. It’s often chaotic and the songs and questions are regularly interrupted so we can break up fights and clear up spillages! That doesn’t matter – it’s the long-term cumulative effect of exposure to God’s word that we’re aiming for.
Why not try it this year? It doesn’t have to be the same as us, but take some time to think about how you will expose your children to God’s word. We can’t change our children’s hearts, only God can do that, but we think of what we are doing as gathering kindling (to borrow a phrase from Matt Chandler) and praying for the Holy Spirit to set it alight.

Michael and Lisa are parents to three boys, twins Timothy and Ezekiel (5) and Simeon (2). They spend their time teaching Physics, clearing up Lego and helping to plant Grace Church Hartlepool. Michael blogs at justworshipgod.com and would love you to follow him on snapchat (justworshipgod) for a daily dose of the good news of Jesus.

The Halls have kindly given us access to their Spotify List of all the Colin Buchanan Memory verses songs.

You can also download printable Bible verses to go with the songs by subscribing to our mailing list by following this link.

Christmas GIVEAWAY: Bake Through The Bible At Christmas

Scott and Cathy Giveaways December 19, 2016December 27, 2016 2 Comments

It’s time for another giveaway!

Our dear friend and author, Bekah Moore, has kindly donated a signed copy of her brilliant new book, Bake through the Bible at Christmas *, which she co-authored with Susie Bentley-Taylor.

Here at Gospel-Centred Parenting, we love thinking about how to share the gospel in the everyday situations of life with our children. This is a great book to help us do this at Christmas, through baking different delicious things that create opportunities to chat with our children about the wonder of the incarnation.

We asked Bekah to tell us a little about the inspiration behind the book…

What inspired you to write Bake through the Bible?

“Back in 2012, my dear friend Susie and I were chatting about how to teach our little boys, Simeon and Joshua, the truths of the Bible. We had both recently read Treasuring God In Our Traditions * by Noël Piper and John Yount’s Everyday Talk *. Both books encouraged us to keep talking about and pointing to Christ in our parenting everyday. Life already felt chaotic (and that was when we had only one child each!) and so we were keen to use things we did anyway to teach our boys about Jesus. For example, talking about all the things we can see that God has made when walking through the park. One thing we both love doing is baking and we’d already started to involve the boys in this. So we began to think about how we could use baking to teach the boys about God and his love for them. And the ideas began to flow…!

How does it work?

Bake Through the Bible * retells 20 key Bible stories that take us through the Bible’s storyline. The stories are written to engage small children, and are each accompanied by a baking activity to draw out and reinforce the teaching from the story. There are pointers and ‘while you cook’ questions to help you talk to your child about the story and God’s love for us while you’re having fun baking.

What if I’m no good at baking?

The baking activities are simple – they’re not designed for The Great British Bake Off contestants! There are a mix of recipes: savoury, sweet, snacks and meals. They are simple, with minimal ingredients and André from The Good Book Company has illustrated the instructions beautifully to help older children to follow them independently. There are even time saving tips (e.g. buying ready-made hot cross buns and icing pens rather than making hot cross buns from scratch). I really emphasise this, because Bake through the Bible isn’t about baking masterpieces with your children: it’s designed to help you to teach them about Jesus while having fun.

We’ve been really encouraged by the feedback we’ve had from Bake through the Bible. It’s been used by parents, grandparents, godparents, as well as in holiday clubs, Sunday clubs, schools and even Nursing Homes. It’s also been given as a gift to many non-Christian families. So in 2014 we wrote the sequel: Bake through the Bible at Christmas. This is the same idea, and the stories take us through the Christmas Story from Isaiah’s description of Jesus being a light in the darkness to Jesus being the best Christmas present because he is our rescuer (John 3.16).

We have varied success with baking in our house! When baking with Simeon, many of the ingredients are consumed raw…! We’ve had burnt, inedible biscuits, flour everywhere except in the bowl, boys walking off after 30 seconds of baking, but much of the time, baking is a lovely, engaging family activity for us.

What recipes are your family favourites?

We love making an empty bread tomb on Easter weekend with Simeon and Francis. We put a toy figure in the tomb and take him away while the boys are sleeping on Saturday night, and they are genuinely amazed and confused about where he has gone – what a joy to tell them that Jesus is not dead, he is risen!

Simeon loves the happy snowman trifle, which illustrates that Simeon and Anna were very happy because they saw Jesus and knew he was the rescuer of the world. Francis currently loves gingerbread, so I’m thinking we might attempt a gingerbread stable next week…”

Bekah lives in Hartlepool with her husband, Nick, and sons Simeon (5) and Francis (3). They are part of All Saints’ Church Stranton, where Nick is curate. She loves the sea, food, Jesus and her family (not in that order!). Nick and Bekah have a third son, Phoenix, who went to be with Jesus shortly after he was born in February this year.

So how can you win a copy?

If you’d like to be in with a chance of winning this brilliant book, then entering is simple. To enter:

Share this post on facebook, and comment on the post on our facebook page to let us know your favourite family Christmas tradition.

You can have an additional entry into the competition for each of the following activities too:

Like our Facebook Page (if you haven’t already)
Follow us on Twitter (if you don’t already)
Tweet this post (make sure you include our handle, @GCParenting so we know you’ve done it!)
Follow us on Instagram

So that’s up to 5 entries!

The competition will close 48 hours after this post was published, and we’ll announce the winner shortly after that.

If you’re not a parent, then don’t let that put you off – this would make a great gift for another parent, or Sunday School teacher, or it would be great to use when you get to spend some time with children from your church.

Gospel in the Everyday | Go Jetters

Scott and Cathy Gospel In The Everyday December 15, 2016August 16, 2018 0 Comment

“Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No it’s…

That sentence could be finished with any number of superheroes at the moment, as they seem to have taken over the Thomson household. Our 2 ½ year old is obsessed! Somehow, he knows the names of multiple superheroes, without ever having watched any superhero movies or programmes.

Most of us love a good superhero, don’t we? We love the idea of someone superhuman; someone who can come to the rescue when we’re most in need; someone who will battle for justice against the forces of evil.

Sound familiar? We love superheroes because they itch where the world is scratching; they seem to solve the problems that human can’t face on their own. We love superheroes because they tell a story that seems impossible in this world. We love superheroes because superheroes remind us of someone else. They tell a fictional version of the true story of Jesus.

Spiderman, Superman, Batman, Iron Man, Captain America, The Hulk – all of these are regularly on the lips of our little one at the moment. But there’s a certain superhero, or rather a band of superheroes, which has held a special place in his heart for some time now.

The Go Jetters.

You may not be familiar with Go Jetters if you don’t have pre-schoolers, but it’s a CBeebies staple.

The four heroes, Xuli, Kyan, Lars and Foz travel the world with their disco loving teacher and mentor Ubercorn. Each episode they travel to a famous landmark only to find it being “glitched” (changed or damaged in some way) by the evil Grandmaster Glitch. The Go Jetters invariably rescue the landmark and restore it to its former glory (and then take a souvenir selfie to remember the moment!).

It’s superheroes for toddlers, and it very effectively captures the essence of the superhero genre.

We believe that we can use the everyday situations that we face to help us speak to our children about the gospel, and that even applies to a 2 ½ year old watching CBeebies.

You see, much of what is great about Go Jetters is seen even more beautifully in Jesus. Jesus is the true rescuer. He sees the “glorious ruin” – a fallen humanity rather than a glitched landmark. He too is angered and saddened by the brokenness he sees, and he too defeats the enemy – the enemy of sin – to restore us to what we should be: the beautiful image of God.

That’s deep theology – wouldn’t it be wonderful if our children began to grasp these things for themselves? We want to give our children every opportunity to engage with the gospel.

As superhero stories capture our children’s imagination and rouse their yearning for justice, we have the privilege and honour of showing them this doesn’t need to end in fantasy and the imagination. There’s a true story that these other stories point to – one that, when our children see it, is far more exciting. It’s a story that they are caught up in, one where the superhero can be their rescuer too.

Does your child like superheroes? How can you help them to see echoes of the gospel in the story they love?

This post first appeared as a guest post on the Sunshine Lenses blog of our friend Cat Caird. It’s posted here too as part of our “Gospel in the Everyday” series. If you’d like to read the introduction to the series then click through to find out what it’s all about.

Guest Post: Helping your kids engage with stories

Scott and Cathy Guest Posts December 12, 2016August 16, 2018 2 Comments

We’re thrilled to have a guest post written by Cat Caird. Cat is a friend and former colleague (during our time on staff with UCCF:The Christian Unions). She describes herself as “Christian. Wife. Mum. Geek. Gamer. Blogger.” Cat’s blog explores popular culture through the lens of a Christian Worldview. She says that she wants to “explore how as Christians we can enjoy the culture around us, but also engage with it in a deep way that allows us to see and celebrate the good in our culture as well as engage with the things that need redemption.” Her blog is thoughtful and helpful, check out more of her stuff over at Sunshine Lenses.

We are so excited that she’s written for Gospel-Centred Parenting! Today she’s helping us think through how we can help our children engage with stories in a thoughtful and Christ-honouring way.

In 2015, the BBC reported that “Children aged five to 16 spend an average of six and a half hours a day in front of a screen…according to market research firm Childwise.”

Although reading statistics like this can seem rather scary and daunting, the reality is that screen time is a digital technology that is very much part of our everyday lives. As our children grow up, they will encounter even more advanced digital technology, using it at home, school and work, becoming much more proficient at it then we ever will.

I am not sure we can, nor do I think we should, hide away from it. There are of course times where we must switch the screen off or limit screen time. But in general, it’s part of the fabric of our lives, which means it’s something we need to engage with and provide tools for our children to help them engage with the stories they see on screen.

Everything we see on screen is telling us a message, from films to adverts, they are revealing to us stories and ideas that either convey elements of the Gospel or deny the Gospel. As Christians, I don’t think it’s helpful to simply soak up these messages without any thought as to what they are saying and equally we cannot ignore or dismiss those messages either.

Therefore, from an early age we can begin to help our children ask good questions about what they watch, revealing the places where Gospel truth (love, sacrifice, heroes, hope, joy, friendship etc) is celebrated and showing the places that need redemption (sin, fallen heroes, villains, darkness, despair). This will enable them to judge what is good, wholesome and true, while also identifying the places that hold up a distorted mirror of the truth.

So for example, when they encounter stories that tell them the way to have a happy life is by being rich, successful and owning a certain brand of car, they can return back to the Gospel and see how that story has distorted the truth. Or when they encounter stories that show love through sacrifice or the value of friendship, they can again come back to the Gospel and celebrate how that reflects Jesus.

So to help us with that, I have put together 5 questions we could ask while watching a film, advert or tv program with our kids:
Questions:

What did you like and dislike about the story and why?
How did the story make you feel? (happy, sad, frightened, excited?)
Who were the Heroes and Villains? (the good guys and the bad guys)
How was the Hero or villain the same / different to Jesus?
What did you learn from the story?

These questions are designed to start a conversation, to get you and your child thinking about the story and the messages that are being conveyed. To start with you could pick one or two questions at an appropriate time and see where that conversation leads you. I think you may find some interesting ideas will pop up.

As we start to do this more, it will help us to think through what we watch and why we watch it. It will also give us avenues to share the gospel with our children and their friends, using stories that they love and identify with to share Gospel truths.

If you would like to read more about the subject of engaging with stories, here are some links that you may find helpful:

5 Resources for hosting a film discussion

Popologetics book by Ted Turnau *

Damaris Trust Website

We hope you enjoyed this post. Don’t forget to check out Cat’s blog for more great posts.

5 Ideas for Cultivating Generous Kids| #5

Scott and Cathy Cultivating generous kids December 9, 2016December 13, 2017 0 Comment

This is the fifth part in our series “5 Ideas For Cultivating Generous Kids This Christmas”. Click here to read the introduction to this series.

#5 Be a generous global citizen

Love it or hate it, you will hear the Band Aid hit “Do they know it’s Christmas?” a lot over the next few weeks. While it’s true to say that some of the lyrics are unhelpful or even untrue generalisations, nevertheless the song is still powerful. It’s a jarring experience to sing the harrowing words while wearing a Christmas jumper and dancing around a house crowded with wrapping paper, new possessions and a feast of food.

We’re surrounded by plenty and yet we’re singing the words:

“But say a prayer for the other ones
At Christmastime
It’s hard, but when you’re having fun
There’s a world outside your window
And it’s a world of dread and fear
Where the only water flowing is the bitter sting of tears

And the Christmas bells that ring there
Are the clanging chimes of doom
Well tonight thank God it’s them instead of you
And there won’t be snow in Africa this Christmastime

The greatest gift they’ll get this year is life
Oh, where nothing ever grows, no rain or rivers flow
Do they know it’s Christmastime at all?

Here’s to you, raise a glass for ev’ryone
Here’s to them, underneath that burning sun
Do they know it’s Christmastime at all?

Feed the world
Let them know it’s Christmastime again”

It’s uncomfortable. It’s incongruous. It’s at odds with the festivities of the moment.

That’s the desired effect.

Then there’s a call to donate. A call to turn that guilt into something helpful. To give out of our abundance in the West and to help someone in need in the developing world.

It’s probably been a fairly effective means of getting people to donate at Christmastime over the years.

We’d like to suggest that the Gospel is an even better motivator for giving to the poor at Christmas.

You see the Bible is packed full of commands to care for the needy – not simply because it’s the right thing to do in a broken and unjust world (although it most certainly is!) but because all Christians were lost, were poor, were vulnerable and were oppressed. Yet God who is rich in love rescued us from our poverty and made us abundantly rich in Christ.

There are too many verses to quote and biblical stories to recount which demonstrate God’s unwavering compassion towards the poor and destitute. If you are looking for a book which will help you get your teeth into this topic then try Generous Justice * by Tim Keller.

But suffice to say, Jesus was the most extraordinarily generous and compassionate man. Any glance at any page of any gospel will show you his commitment to the poor and needy. He self-sacrificially poured himself out in his healing and teaching ministry, but ultimately he gave up his very blood to heal the brokenness of the entire world.

So let’s try and encourage our children to think about the needs of the poor, and to think globally about this. Poverty, war, natural disasters, persecution of Christians, human trafficking and disease are horrendous realities of life in our world; the people caught up in these atrocities are very close to God’s heart. There is no easy way to talk to our children about them, and yet it’s essential that we do. In an age-appropriate way, let’s make our children aware that they are in a privileged position and that they can and should bless others who are in desperate situations.

Lots of charities are doing Christmas appeals. Unicef, Tearfund and Christian Aid are all doing Christmas appeals where you can quickly and simply donate money online. There are options for all budgets, from a £3 blanket to keep a Syrian child warm through winter, to £47 to provide shelter and counselling for a child rescued from trafficking, to £100 for food, mattresses and hygiene kits for a displaced family. Lots of these websites have images of what you are purchasing and the pictures of the types of people who will be receiving your help. Perhaps sit with your child and look at the information on the website together. It might help them visualize who they are giving to and what a difference it will make.

Depending on the how sensitive your child is, this may be very hard for them to think about. Encourage them that Jesus cares deeply for these people, that he died to bring all the sadness in the world to an end, and that one day he will be coming back to make everything perfect.

Here’s a beautiful excerpt from the Jesus Storybook Bible * which you can read to your child to comfort them:

I see a sparkling city shimmering in the sky: glittering, glowing – coming down! From heaven. And from the sky. Heaven is coming down to earth! And the King says, “Look! God and his children are together again. No more running away. Or hiding. No more crying or being lonely or afraid. No more being sick or dying. Because all those things are gone. Yes, they’re gone forever. Everything sad has come untrue. And see – I have wiped away every tear from every eye!”And then a deep beautiful voice that sounded like thunder in the sky says, “Look! I am making everything new!”

Sally Lloyd-Jones

That’s it for our Cultivating Generous Kids This Christmas series. We hope you enjoyed it!