Parenting is hard at the best of times. But during a pandemic it is something else!
Parents have been juggling working (often from home), with domestic tasks, with educating their children, as well as with other responsibilities to their community and church. They’ve been doing this without very much support and while living under a fog of uncertainty as to whether they will need to self-isolate and lose income and health.
Parents should be applauded for what they’ve achieved during this pandemic.
Which is why I felt really upset when I saw this…
This was sent to me by a friend of mine who has a five year old at school (yes this is his remote learning schedule) and a three year old at home who is globally developmentally delayed. She was sent this by the school in anticipation of an announcement of primary school closures in January. She felt totally daunted by this schedule and asked how I managed to homeschool with other children around.
So, in case you were wondering how home educators manage to do this with multiple children and different commitments, let me tell you the secret- we don’t. We don’t even attempt it.
Home educators wouldn’t dream of attempting anything remotely like this schedule or level of academic expectation at home or at such a young age.
But, to try prevent this blog post from becoming one long rant, let me try to offer an outline of how we as a family educate our son at home. Take or leave what you like – but I hope that it encourages you that what you manage to achieve through your child’s remote learning over this next fortnight, or during any time of self-isolation is enough.
As a side note, our child who is home educated is only 6, so he requires less time doing school work than a teenager, but he also requires almost constant supervision while he works. A teenager is already able to use IT and read and write. What I’m trying to address specifically in this blog post, is the unrealistic expectation that parents can constantly supervise and teach their young children for an entire day in the name of remote learning.
We don’t have a schedule, we have routines.
It is very easy for a schedule to go off course: if the toddler needs a nappy change, the DPD delivery comes to the door, or you have to take a work call. So rather than have a schedule with set times where you can fall behind, having routines helps to provide structure to the day while allowing flexibility for life’s unpredictability.
Our basic routines is this:
Morning devotional
Time in nature/ garden/ park – (tire out the toddler)
Lunch
Naptime/ Sitting down school work time (maths, english, speech therapy) max 2 hours
Popcorn and read-aloud time
Nap-schooling not multitasking
All our sit down work happens when our toddler is napping. Multitasking is stressful, so we don’t try to do it. Two hours is the maximum amount of time that we do maths, english and speech therapy tasks (but usually it’s much less time that this). Why don’t you figure out what this looks like for your family. Maybe time the school’s online videos with you work call, or cut out completely what is unrealistic and focus in on a few non-negotiables.
All of life is educational
While your children are learning at your home, you are free to have a different philosophy to the school’s philosophy of education. All of life is educational. It doesn’t have to be academic for it to count. Baking, jigsaw puzzles, orchard toys, board games, letter writing, audio books, lego, fancy dress, crafting, playing in the garden all count, and are actually the foundation of a happy, developmentally healthy education. So embrace it. Send them off to play and don’t feel guilty about it. If they get enough time to play, chances are they will perform better when you ask them to do their set work for school.
Trust your instincts
As your child’s parent you know them best. If your child is resisting doing the work for you or not engaging with what has been set, then know when to ditch it. During the first lockdown our then five year old really struggled to engage with the online maths programme that school were using (and we weren’t very comfortable with so much screen time for him). So we purchased some “Maths No Problem” textbooks and workbooks and helped him do those instead. He was far more engaged and it was much more pleasant experience for everyone. We informed the school and everyone was happy.
Partner with the school but don’t be dictated to by the school
Teachers are amazing creatures, who have done an absolute sterling job during the duration of this pandemic. They have adapted to so many changes, with very little notice and have sacrificed a huge amount to serve our children. They deserve a pay rise, all our respect and lots of kind words from us. Actually the school that our 4 year old attends have been really brilliant. Giving us lots of resources and suggestions while making it known that not every family will be able to do everything that they set. They have been a great support and wonderful to partner with, but our understanding is that this isn’t always the case.
If you are being asked to “homeschool” your children at home, know your limits, know your child, know your existing responsibilities and know when to say no. Or just don’t do it all – the teacher will figure it out, and they will understand. They are paid to teach your children, in a specially adapted space, with training and resources; they will understand that your situation is different and that you simply cannot do it all.
Jesus is with us
Jesus knows what it feels like to be overwhelmed, to be stressed, to be responsible for needy people, to face uncertainty and difficulty and despair. He is sympathetic to you in this. He doesn’t expect you to have it all together or get it all perfect or to be brave. I read this recently in Dane Ortland’s amazing book “Gentle and Lowly” and I found it hugely comforting:
“Contrary to what we expect to be the case, therefore, the deeper into weakness and suffering and testing we go, the deeper Christ’s solidarity with us. As we go down into pain and anguish, we are descending ever deeper into Christ’s very heart, not away from it. Look to Christ. He deals gently with you. It’s the only way he knows how to be. He is the high priest to end all high priests. As long as you fix your attention on your sin, you will fail to see how you can be safe. But as long as you look to this high priest, you will fail to see how you can be in danger. Looking inside ourselves, we can anticipate only harshness from heaven. Looking out to Christ, we can anticipate only gentleness.”
So if primary schools do close, and remote learning becomes the expectation over the next few weeks, then prayer is that you can go into the next few weeks with the pressure off. Jesus deals gently with you. Please deal gently with yourself and your children too.