Are you familiar of the Greek myth of Narcissus? He was the handsome son of the River God Cephisus. One day Narcissus was walking by a river and decided to get himself a drink. As he looked at his reflection in the water, he was amazed and captivated by his own beauty. Devastated that he would never be able to have the object of his desire (himself), he despairs and pines away at the riverside. Eventually his self-absorption kills him as he dies of thirst and starvation.
It’s a cheery tale!
The meaning is clear, self-love and self-absorption can lead to our own downfall. We’re not designed to be vain and inward-looking.
As Christians we know that “the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7). Because we know that God values character more how we physically look, we often tend to our hearts more than to our physical appearance. (Now obviously there’s a vast spectrum depending on church culture, personal upbringing, which country we were born into, our gender etc but…) Generally speaking, as Christians, we know that just as we aren’t to judge others by how they look, and we know that we shouldn’t judge ourselves according to physical appearances either.
But that’s much easier said than done!
Because of the fall, we don’t relate to God, to other people or to ourselves as we were designed to.
For many of us, that results in us taking pride in or despairing in the way that we look, or perhaps we just avoid looking in the mirror altogether.
We have a broken relationship with ourselves, and we struggle not to find our worth in how we outwardly appear.
But not so with babies!
We have three children, and all of them LOVED looking at their reflection as a baby.
Our third child, our only girl, is 9 months old at the moment. Every time she catches a glance at herself in the mirror she absolutely beams. I’ll never forget the first time she ever saw herself in the mirror – her whole face lit up!
Joy. Unbridled joy.
It made me so happy to see.
But then I felt sad too.
Because I contemplated all the times that she might look in the mirror in the future and think that her appearance is too this, or not enough of that. That one day she might compare her beautiful face, designed by God, crafted by him for his glory, to heavily made-up, filtered and edited images of what she thinks she ought to look like, and despair. Like Narcissus, her despair will also come from desiring something that she can’t have. But the difference is, what she will desire is unattainable because it is simply a deception. An illusion. A lie that her value is summed up by the size of her eyes, fullness of her lips and clearness of her complexion.
And even if it’s not an image on Instagram, it may just be the girl next door, who’s taller, slimmer or has “better” eyebrows. Comparison is everywhere. Because people are everywhere.
So, what’s the solution?
Well the gospel is good news for our little girl (and for all of us actually!), because the gospel says, 1) that we were created wonderfully by a God who loves us 2) God still loves and values us despite our sin, comparison, pride and self-absorption 3) God the Son took on a physical body and was marred for our beautification and 4) One day we will live in a world where we won’t ever struggle with body-image issues again. So let’s walk through that.
1. We were created wonderfully by a God who loves us
Psalm 139 makes it abundantly clear that God crafted each one of us in the womb with care and love.
“For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.”
How life-affirming is this? If you ever struggle with feeling like you aren’t valuable, it’s time to read these verses again. You are deeply valuable to God, your life was ordained by God, you are precious to him and he carefully created every single bit of you in your mother’s womb. And the same is true of your children. Sometimes we find it easier to believe for our children. Because if your biological children were conceived, moved about and grew inside your womb it’s hard to deny the wonder of that whole experience.
But this is true of all humanity. It’s just as true if you were adopted. It’s just as true if your children are fostered or adopted. This passage is for everyone. Every single one of us are of supreme value to God. We are his precious children, and he is our creator-father. He created us all fearfully and wonderfully.
So, for our little girl – she is extremely special, wonderful and beautiful, because she was created by a God who loves her.
2. God still loves and values us despite our sin, comparison, pride and self-absorption
Why is the story of Narcissus so powerful? Perhaps because it seems so obvious (don’t die pining after something you can’t have! Don’t be so vain and self-absorbed!). Or perhaps because it’s a shocking warning to not be exactly the way we are by nature. We know our love of self is bad, but we’re just hard-wired that way. Think about it, comparison that leads to discontentment (inferiority) or pride (superiority) is simply a problem because we are obsessed with ourselves – and obsessed with how we appear. So sometimes we go the other way, we don’t think, take care of, or even really look at ourselves. But both extremes just indicate that we struggle to relate to ourselves (and like who God made us) correctly. All of these issues are because of the fall.
But amazingly God is sympathetic towards us in our mixed-up attitudes towards ourselves, and he decided to do something about it.
So, for our little girl – even though she will struggle with sin, comparison, pride and self-absorption (because it’s the condition of humanity) God loves her despite that and in the midst of that, and he’s done something so that won’t always have to be her experience.
3. God the Son took on a physical body and was marred for our beautification
Now this is the truly brilliant bit! God – the eternal, transcendent, most beautiful being in existence took pity on us and he became flesh to put all the ugliness of sin and self-absorption to death. Jesus the Son of God, took on a human body and experience.
It says in Isaiah 5:3 that, “He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him”, which means that Jesus was plain looking. Not especially handsome or notable.
He took on flesh, and even in the body that he took, he took a humble appearance.
It would have been amazing enough if God had become flesh in the most handsome body of all time, it’s even more remarkable that he took on a humble appearance, but there’s more… he didn’t just do that – Jesus’ physical appearance will be permanently marred into eternity future for our beautification.
Why?
Because Jesus was crucified for all our sin and self-absorption.
He was whipped mercilessly, pierced through the head with a crown of thorns, nailed to a cross through his wrists and ankles and once he had suffocated to death, he had a spear thrust into his side.
He did that to end ugly self-absorption, insecurity, comparison and obsession with ourselves, our appearance and how we appear to others – because he knows that it makes us miserable.
We weren’t designed to live that way. And Jesus decided to put an end to it all at the cross.
After the resurrection, Jesus’ disciples recognised him by the scars on his wrists and stomach. That means that our God will forever be in the form of a human being, but not just that, a marred human being.
So, for our little girl. Jesus can make her beautiful because he endured the cross to rid her of her ugly sin, so that she can be free from comparison, self-absorption and pride. One day she’ll experience that completely, but she can experience that increasingly in this life too.
4. One day we will live in a world where we won’t ever struggle with body-image issues again.
Why did Jesus endure so much at the cross? Was it just for our forgiveness in this life? No! It was also to secure our eternal life. If we trust in Jesus, we can enjoy eternal life in perfect relation to God, to others and to ourselves(!) too. Not only that, but we’ll in fact get incredible new creation, immortal bodies. What an amazing hope the gospel gives us to our body insecurities!
So, for our little girl, there will be a day when our baby girl, will not be a baby anymore. But she will still be able to look at herself in the mirror and smile with joy. She won’t dislike how she looks, she won’t compare herself to others, she won’t take sinful pride in her appearance, the thought will not enter her head, “if only”. She’ll delight in who God created her to be – she’ll praise him that he is a majestic, kind, wonderful creator and her heart will be full of adoration to the one who took on flesh and had his flesh marred for her eternal, indelible beautification. No more will she feel insecure. She will be freed up to love God, to love others and to love herself – all in the way that God intended.
Or you may be encouraged to purchase this cute “I am fearfully and wonderfully made” baby grow for a special baby you know: