October, 2018 | Gospel-Centred Parenting

Comforting Bible Verses for Labour and Childbirth

Scott and Cathy Pregnancy October 15, 2018October 14, 2018 0 Comment

The birth of our third baby is fast approaching. Which has got us thinking about what a gospel-centred approach to childbirth might look like.

So watch this space, there may be more blog posts pondering this topic coming up in the weeks to come. There’s lots to say on the topic for sure!

Childbirth as a mental battlefield

Let me speak from a woman’s perspective for a minute. I always knew that childbirth was a physical exercise (arguably the most physically strenuous event that can occur in a woman’s life), but it’s only through experience that I realised how much it’s actually an exercise of the mind.

The birth of or first two sons were starkly different in this regard. The first labour was characterised by fear, a defeatist attitude and much physical pain. The second was characterised by optimism, excitement and determination, and yes, pain, but pain I could endure. Guess which one was shorter and more enjoyable? You’ve guessed right, the second one. I know that subsequent births are often shorter, but this isn’t always the case, and I do think mindset has a part to play.

I understand that this perhaps sounds a bit self-help-y. However, anyone who trains for a marathon knows that the training is both physical and mental. First of all you have to get up off the sofa and out to the door, before you can begin your run. Mental preparation is essential, and it’s the thing that keeps you going when your body tells you to give up before the finishing line. Your mind says “keep going” when your legs scream “give up!”

There are lots of athletic metaphors in the Bible, showing the interplay between hard physical training and strong mental images and motivations to endure.

“And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.” (Hebrews 12:2-3)

In sporting terms, we talk about visualising the finishing line, keeping our eye on the prize, remaining focused. In the Christian life we are to fix our eyes on Jesus as the motivation to endure. And as we do so, we model Jesus who kept his eye on the prize – sitting down at the right hand of God, with the joy of having redeemed a people for himself. Jesus visualised the end, and that gave him strength to endure the cross. His mental meditation on truth led to a physical endurance.

Meditating on Scripture

I gave birth to our second son while listening to birthing affirmations to relaxing music – it really helped to overcome my fears and to help me focus on the task at hand. It was a great grace of God.

However, it’s made me realise that this time I’d like to meditate on Scripture. Because as much as I’d like to “welcome my baby with joy and ecstasy” (one of the lines from the CD!) I’d also like to remember that “weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning” and that God’s grace is sufficient for me for his “power is made perfect in weakness.”

Comforting Bible verses

So here we go, a list of comforting Bible verses which you may which to memorise (or print out) for during your labour. This can be a help to you whether you are having a natural birth or a planned or emergency C-section. God longs to comfort us all in our time of need. There aren’t many surgeries that we have fully conscious! Meditating on Scripture while in theatre can bring real comfort.

On this – I don’t wish to sound overly pious! I find memorising Scripture difficult, and I’m not sure if I’ll be able to recall it during contractions. However, I’m trusting that God will honour the effort and will bring comfort during my labour – even if that is just that I meditate on one verse over and over again.

And let’s not forget our birthing partners. Our husbands, mums, friends, doulas can read out these Bible verses for us, or pray for us, or make a relaxing/worshipful songlist for us. Let’s not be afraid to express our faith even in front of medical professionals. Childbirth, is a spiritual, emotional and deeply intimate experience after all. [In fact, as a total aside, I have a dear friend (a very gifted evangelist) who shared the gospel with her midwife after her birth!] I’m not at all suggesting that’s what God expects of us, but it is a beautiful possibility.

We’ve compiled the verses into a pretty pdf that you can view on a screen or print out – to get access to them sign up to our mailing list (you can unsubscribe any time!) and you’ll get the details in your welcome email. Sign up using the form below:

We hope that you find these verses a comfort to you. They can be applied to all sorts of situations, not just childbirth, so memorising them is no bad shout – whether or not you’re pregnant.

So what about you?

How did you find comfort in the gospel during childbirth? If you’ve got any suggestions – CD recommendations, tips or other verses then we’d love to here them! Please let us know in the comments box below.

What is Jesse Tree and why do we love it? (Plus free worldwide delivery this week!)

Scott and Cathy Jesse Tree, Uncategorized October 7, 2018October 6, 2018 0 Comment

If you’ve ever read anything on this blog, you’ll know that we think the gospel really is wonderfully good news for both parents and children. And you’ll know that our mission is to help you (as well as ourselves!) keep the gospel central to everything. Advent and Christmas should be times of wonderful, joy-filled, gospel-saturated wonder. Very often, however, the gospel gets crowded out with everything else that’s going on.

Given this is the case, last year we launched a product called “Jesse Tree”, a wonderful tool to help keep excitement about Jesus at the centre of the Christmas period.

Jesse Tree ornaments date back hundreds of years, and are a bit like a Christian advent calendar. The name Jesse Tree comes from a prophesy in Isaiah 11. Each day through December in the run up to Christmas you can hang a Jesse Tree Ornament and read a section of the Bible with your child(ren) that points forward to the coming of Jesus.

Last year it was such a joy to see photos on facebook, twitter and instagram of families all over the world using their ornaments with their children to build anticipation for Christmas day.

Included in a Jesse Tree set are 24 ornaments which correspond to the first 24 chapters of the Jesus Storybook Bible *, or you can read along with the suggested passages from our Jesse Tree Guide, which comes free with your purchase. So every day, from December 1st, you will be able to fix your family’s eyes on the wonder of the coming of Jesus. You’ll be able to build expectation as you look at some of the wonderful ways that Jesus is anticipated throughout the Old Testamant, and you’ll enjoy the climax of the story as you read about the coming of Jesus, leading you right up to Christmas day.

A special discount for Gospel-Centred Parenting readers

These Jesse Tree ornaments would not exist if it wasn’t for you. The inspiration for making a product like this came after a year of writing our Christian parenting blog. After spending each week reflecting on how the gospel impacted our day-to-day messy lives (and specifically the area of parenting) we became excited about the opportunity to make something which would help families to read the Bible together and bask in the sunshine of the gospel together. Jesse Tree is the fruit of that dream.

As a reader of our blog, we’d love to offer you a discount.

Each ornament is hand-printed with ink on rustic hazel wood, and comes pre-strung. We can ship it to you wherever you live in the world. Last year we were thrilled to ship Jesse Tree sets to, among other places Greece, New Zealand, Australia, the USA and Canada (not to mention lots in the UK)! Sometimes international shipping can take several weeks, and so with that in mind we’d like to offer you free shipping until October 14th. This applies wherever you live in the world! This way, you should receive you set in time for December 1st.

Just use the code freedel for free domestic or international shipping. This offer is valid until October 14th.

We hope you love the design – we certainly do. We are blessed to be working alongside a brilliant designer from our church, Rory Henderson.

We’re also thrilled to be able to give 10% of profit to the work of Bible translation and distribution. This means that not only will your family enjoy this gospel-centred product, but you will also be contributing to work that will mean others around the world can gain access to the gospel too.

We have a number of colour options available – click through to our shop to see more images and place your order.

Our prayer is that your family will use these ornaments for many years to come. Through them, we hope that you will create some truly special memories that are recounted and repeated down the generations. And more importantly, our greatest prayer is that you will all grow in love for Jesus as you together see how (as the Jesus Storybook Bible * so memorably puts it) “every story whispers his name.”

We are a small business, and rely on people like you spreading the word about our Jesse Tree sets. Please would you share this post if you have friends who would benefit from this offer? Or better yet, why don’t you buy a set for their family as a Christmas gift? We (and they) would be super duper grateful!

Modelling repentance to children

Scott and Cathy Uncategorized October 1, 2018October 1, 2018 0 Comment

We caught our child lying the other day.

It wasn’t an overly deceptive lie. We asked him if he’d finished his crumpet. He said “Yes.” But when we looked at the plate, the crumpet was still there!

Before you say it… we know these aren’t crumpets! We couldn’t find a crumpet image!

So, after chatting it through a bit, we cracked out the age-old line, “We’re very disappointed that you lied to us.”

The camel’s back was well and truly broken with this straw. He had a major meltdown lasting a good 10 minutes, and his behaviour got progressively worse. He wasn’t responding well to correction or to his time out. As parents our patience was starting to wear thin too. Why does this have to happen so early on a Saturday morning?

We’re so thankful for God’s grace for what happened next.

Our son showed genuine repentance and we were reconciled and able to move on to a lovely day.

We accredit this in large part to a friend of ours explaining how he modelled repentance to his children. We’ve tried to replicate. Not as some magic formula to replace the Holy Spirit, but as a helpful guide of what to do when you’re in the thick of a tricky confrontation with your child.

Modelling repentance to children

Before we were parents we used to work for the christian charity UCCF: The Christian Unions. While we were on staff we had a brilliant supervisor who was also a dad to three young children. He was in the trenches of sleep-deprivation, discipline issues and trying to balance ministry and family life in this very overwhelming season.

He would often tell us little anecdotes about what his children had got up to, including the more tedious (for him, we’re sure!) parts about their bad behaviour and subsequent discipline. It was so very helpful for us. And we didn’t even know it at the time.

So what did he do?

In large part, his discipline was similar to anyone else’s. He’d give warnings about the consequences of disobedience, “If you don’t do X then you’ll have to have a time out.” Then he’d follow through.

But what he did next was brilliant.

He would lead his children to Jesus.

He’d have a discussion with his children about their behaviour. Identifying what the problem was. Then he would hold them and pray with them.

He spoke to us about how frustrating it could be to repeat the practice again and again – warning, consequence, prayer, repeat. But he would still keep doing it. And then we started to hear encouraging stories about how his eldest (then 4 years old) would start to say encouraging things about Jesus. He made his first profession of faith while sat on the toilet while his dad was in the shower! Precious moments, in real life situations.

Sorry, Thank You, Please

So since then, we’ve tried to replicate this modelling repentance to our children. Both taking our children to Jesus in prayer when they sin, and apologising to our children and praying for our own forgiveness when we sin against them. Now to be totally honest, it’s only started to feel worthwhile within the last year or so – Cathy first apologised to our eldest and modelled repentance when he was only a few weeks old. She raised her voice at him out of frustration because he wouldn’t stop crying. The mum-guilt was awful! But the repentance helped, even though the baby had no idea what was going on. But now that he’s 4, it feels much more worthwhile!

So, practically speaking what does a modelling repentance conversation go like?

Quite often we use a simple prayer which can be used to lead someone to Christ for the first time, or for the thousandth time: “Sorry, thank you, please.”

The interaction might go like this:

Parent:”It wasn’t right that you lied. It also wasn’t right that I raised my voice at you – that isn’t the right way to deal with frustration. I think we should pray to Jesus about it, don’t you?”

Holding child in arms, pray,

“Dear Lord Jesus, we’re sorry for the times when we sin, when we hurt you and other people. Thank you for dying on the cross to forgive our sin. Thank you that you love to forgive us. Please help us change by your Holy Spirit. Amen”

Simple enough for a child to understand, profound enough to preach the gospel to their hearts and ours.

After the lying incident

Our son was wracked with guilt because of his lying (and getting caught!). He then chose to respond with anger, aggression and further disobedience. But once the dust had settled, and we went to speak to him after his time out, an amazing and visible change happened.

The anger turned to tears, the shouting turned to quiet listening to the prayer, the lashing out turned to a tight bear hug and he was genuinely ready to say sorry to us.

The amazing thing about discipline done this way, is how children long to be reconciled to their parents. After the confrontation they long to be held, to be played with, to be spoken kindly too. They know they acted wrongly, they’ve turned from their sin, repented and sought reconciliation.

Aren’t you the same as an adult? After a confrontation with your spouse, aren’t the hugs after a heartfelt apology the tightest?

What a wonderful thing to experience. What a wonderful thing to model to our children. What a joy it is to live in the freedom of the gospel which recognises sin as sin, has a way to deal with it, and can move on to a guilt-free, loving relationship thereafter.

On this – another Christian parent that we know once told us that her parents modelled grace to her by never mentioning a sin that had been repented of again. Once an apology was said, that was it over and done with. She experienced that as a child, and it’s left a long-lasting impression on her of God’s grace towards her as an adult. She now does the same with her daughter.

We won’t do it perfectly

None of us will discipline perfectly all the time. We don’t always interpret the situation correctly, we don’t always keep our cool, we don’t always remember the gospel in the thick of it.

But that’s completely the point!

The gospel says we all need a saviour, and that Jesus willingly and lovingly offers himself to be it. In this life, it’s never too late to model repentance. It’s never too late to seek reconciliation. Even if our children are grown-ups now. There’s still time.

^“If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John:8-9

^“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathise with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” Hebrews 4:15-16

So what about you?

We’d love to hear about how you model repentance in your home. How do you resolve conflict and move towards Christ as a family? If you grew up in a Christian home, how did growing up in an atmosphere of repentance and love impact you?

Please leave a comment below – we love gleaning wisdom from other parents!

And if you found this post encouraging please consider sharing it on social media.